Friday, October 06, 2006

Found! Microsoft's Secret Plan for World Vista Domination

Just the other day while poking around for additional information regarding the upcoming Beta release of Microsoft Virtual PC 2007, I stumbled upon Voldermort's secret plan for World Vista Domination!

Worried that it was a devious trap set for the "not-so-young-anymore-boy-who-lived", I quickly snagged the document and beat a hasty retreat to my "Room of Requirement" where I could study the document in safety.

Step 1) Cunningly hide the plan under a benign White Paper title "Using Microsoft Virtual PC 2007 for Application Compatibility" -- Clever... Who but true Death Eaters would bother to read a title like that? Is that the new Dark Mark Logo against the green and blue background?

Step 2) Reassure Vista adopters that if their apps run under XP SP2, they shouldn't have any issues with using them under Vista, but new security features need to be considered.

Step 3) Now strike fear in the undecided by reminding them that 16-bit applications and 32-bit drivers are not supported on 64-bit versions of Vista...along with some other scary sounding combinations. Some of those legacy applications you have might be left out in the pasture! Oh my gosh! What should I do? I'm an IT manager and I just know I'm going to have to deploy new hardware along with Vista to stay competitive. Please! Not the Cruciatus Curse!

Step 4) Offer your victims (customers) a chance to swear allegiance: pick up a free copy of Virtual PC 2007 for all your Vista deployments! Why? Well...

Step 5) Explain how Virtual PC 2007 has been optimized for Vista and has a whole new slew of bells and whistles to make running of virtual machines more efficient.

Step 6) Provide neat Visio-like illustrations to show how victims (customers...there I go getting terms confused again) can upgrade to Vista, but then create as many virtual machines as they want on Vista in Virtual PC 2007 so if their legacy application can only run on say 2000 Pro, or MS-DOS, or Win98, they are still covered nicely! Evil is so clever.

Step 7) Drop your guard, accidentally, and remind converts to your evil plan that they must still obey your power by making sure they have a proper license for all of the operating systems installed in each virtual machine. Oooooo. Very Evil indeed.

Step 8) Kill the first convert who raises their hand and asks you, "Is it OK if I just use my "virtual license keys" since they are "virtual" operating systems?" Evil cannot be mocked in public by its minions....

Step 9) Offer a handy step-by-step guide (with pictures for the kiddos) of how to set up and utilize your own Virtual PC operating system of Evil.

Step 10) Leave your stunned converts now under your control with the Imperius Curse pondering the meanings of the section "Comparing Virtual PC with Other Solutions". You have just convinced them to upgrade to Vista and then convert their existing Microsoft operating system licenses into the undead-zombie Inferi form of "Virtual PC" systems. Now cast a stunner at them with long-term suggestions such as: "Apply updates or service packs to the application", "Modify the configuration of the existing application", "Upgrading the application to a compatible version", "Modify the security configuration", "Modifying the application", "Using application compatibility tools", "Consider retirement of your legacy application", and the most mysterious alternative suggestion of all....."Running the application in a virtualized environment". Geesh. Why didn't you suggest that in the first place? Oh, wait. YOU ALREADY DID!

Your Evil Plan is now complete!

Sit back and watch the masses be assimilated.

(Oh, wait. Wrong series....never-mind.)

All Harry Potter references aside, the use of virtualization to continue supporting critical legacy applications in "virtual" systems is a very good idea to consider for your organization if it is flirting with upgrading to Vista. In many cases you may already own sufficient legacy operating system licenses and redeploying the virtual images across your infrastructure might be pretty quick and easy.

If nothing else, it would allow you a window of transition to find alternatives to non-Vista compatible applications, or can hold you over until your custom application vendor releases a Vista compatible version.

Clever stuff indeed...this virtualization stuff.

I think we are just seeing the beginnings of a new (old) technology field re-birth.

Mwuhaaahaaahaaa! Mwuhaaahaaahaa! Mwuhaaahaaahaaa!


Or you can take a stand and remain, "Dumbledore's man, through and through."

Additional Thoughts for Dumbledore's Army members:

A Vista kill switch would be good for Linux - George Ou, TechRepublic

Vista's Anti-Piracy Technology - Will It Push Users To Linux? - J_K9 @ Linux

May I see your Windows License and registration, ma'am? - Dwight Silverman, Techblog

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