To be honest, I had never planned on being a father.
I really didn't want to be one.
It wasn't because I was selfish and wanted to spend all my money and time on pursuing my own interests...that's not really me. I just didn't think I would do a good enough job with all the responsibility that entails.
After Lavie and I got married, she worked hard to help convince me she believed in me enough to want to try.
Then after all that soul searching and personal growth, it looked like we wouldn't be able to have children at all.
So we gave up on the idea, kind-of. Lavie asked me what I wanted for my upcoming birthday and I told her I would be happy with either a baby or a dog.
We settled on the breed. A Schipperke.
We had a breeder picked out and a puppy waiting. We kept its picture taped on our bedroom mirror.
As my birthday neared we were all set to make the trip up past Tyler to get it.
Then one afternoon, Lavie came home and gave me a present.
Turns out I wasn't going to be getting a dog for my birthday, after all.
I wasn't going to be a doggie-daddy.
We were going to have a baby. I was going to be a baby-daddy. Our baby. The baby who would become Alvis. A mysterious thing known as a daughter, which brings delight and pride and confusion to fathers everywhere.
Our home is filled with her artwork and pictures and love. She is our joy.
I'm not a perfect father, but she and Lavie say I'm doing a good job so I guess that's something.
John "flagrantdisregard" Watson posted his musings on being a dad: Where’d my baby go? and particularly how quickly children grow up.
For me, two recent facts have oddly forced me to realize I have a daughter, growing.
First, her blouses and shirts and coats no longer will fit on her children's sized hangers. No matter how hard I try or what techniques I use, they keep sliding off. And I am going to have to deal with it and go buy her full-size hangers.
Secondly, I got the honor of taking her out to buy some new pairs of jeans this weekend. We had a great time and actually succeeded in finding some.
Only, we had to get them from the junior's department and they were size 1's. She isn't even a teenager yet and we are shopping in the junior's department...because she is so tall.
And I remember when we could put stuff on the kitchen counter to keep her out of it.
Gone are the days.....
On the other hand, while we were burning time together, we checked out the latest mice and keyboards in the office supply store. Alvis showed quite a bit of her geek discussing her opinions on the finer points of ergonomic mouse and keyboard feel with me.
Maybe I'm doing something OK after all.